Evolution vs. Change
The Art of Becoming
By: Ayla Vejdani, MA, ACC
Transformation is uncomfortable AF.
You’re hardwired to evolve. Change is the only constant.
When you don’t evolve you stagnate. Stagnation takes on many shapes: resentment, jealousy, anger, fear, anxiety, depression, confusion, lack of motivation, unfulfillment.
Change doesn’t always feel great, but giving into it, is the only way forward. When you learn to lean into your evolution the magic begins.
Identity evolves, circumstances are temporary, and change is beautiful. You must learn to stretch to make room for creativity, innovation, and better versions of yourselves. You must embrace stretch to make room for possibility.
We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.— Max de Pree
Your ideals of yesterday shouldn’t weigh down your tomorrow. Who you wanted to be isn’t as important as who you are, and who you decide to show up as right now. If the dreams of yesterday no longer serve you, then give yourself the permission to let them go. It’s not failure; it’s evolution. Being honest and present with yourself is more important than holding on to an ideal that no longer holds value.
This work takes superpowers that you have. It takes self-awareness that you can possess. It takes openness that you can access: openness to be wrong; openness to be right; and openness to see what evolves.
The cost of your new life will be your old one.— Unknown
Nothing taught me evolution like motherhood. I soon realised that balance was elusive and my whole self needed to be redefined. I realised that I was going to have to let go of parts of myself to make room for a new version of me. I realised I had to re-conceptualise my understanding of ‘self’ in general.
This made me claustrophobic and frustrated.
I had worked so hard to get here, to be this version of me, and now I had to start from scratch?
This is when I realised that the work never ends.
The MINDSHIFT Reframe
Embrace evolution vs. change
I not only had to surrender to the changes, but I reframed the resistance to change into an invitation for evolution. To do that, I embraced three tools to shift my mindset and facilitate my evolution: Gratitude, Grit + Grace
Gratitude means paying attention to your life in a specific way. Gratitude is about making a daily choice. The practice of gratitude is as simple and profound as choosing the lens in which you see yourself, and the world around you. In times of transition, gratitude is exceptionally powerful because it grounds you, builds a foundation and focuses on the things that matter most. Gratitude is an instrumental MINDSHIFT tool as it provides a cognitive reframe for your brain to look for the things going well, to acknowledge the people in your life who are supporting you, and to take inventory of your growth.
How can you incorporate gratitude into your daily life?
This is about showing up, pushing yourself to grow. Sometimes you have to claw your way out. Sometimes it’s a baby step in the right direction. Either way, you have to show up. Show up as Your Best Leader, inspire yourself, impress yourself, and prove yourself right. Grit is about perseverance, it is the steadfast pursuit of your journey in spite of challenges in your way. The best way to cultivate and access grit is for you to connect to why your path matters in the first place, to understand your purpose in pursuing it, and how growing through this transition will increase your personal fulfillment. The hard fact is that someone else can’t answer these questions for you; you have to find your own personal why.
How can Your Best Leader empower your grit?
Grace makes space for love. Grace sees this transition as an invitation. Grace is about self-compassion. Grace makes room for forgiveness and gives you the permission to not know, to be lost, to need space, and to ask for help. Grace is about empathy, self care, and embracing the unknown with the trust that you will find your way. Grace empowers intuition and invites a deeper wisdom to arise. Sometimes accessing this space is as simple as a breath, other times it needs deeper conversations and safer spaces for support. Ultimately transformation is hard, and as you work all your mental and emotional muscles to rebirth a better version of yourself, you need to feed your soul with love.
How can you embrace grace to help you through times of change?
You can’t always get what you want— Rolling stones
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need.
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